so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
