Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize