i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
