The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
