Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
