Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
