You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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