new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
