i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
