I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
