you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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