We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
