just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
