I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Randomize
