I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
