Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
