being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
