You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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