Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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