Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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