we're blogging at a bar
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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