i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
