Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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