So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
