help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
How does one acquire holy water?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
