I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
