So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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