whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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