There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
