I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
