didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
