Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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