So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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