I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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