And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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