I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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