Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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