Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
