i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
