She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
