Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
