Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize