im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
