I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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