you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
