That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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