Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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