her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize