why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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