Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
