either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
