i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She needs sedatives and a leash
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
