i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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