we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize