she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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