You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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