Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
