Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
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