can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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